1869年，路易斯安那州
这家伙疯了 He's a madman!
我得警告总统 I must warn the President!
大蜘蛛 Giant spider!
通常科学家脑袋应该都不错 And they say you scientists are supposed to be smart.
维吉尼亚州，摩根市
传奇人物吉姆卫斯特上尉 The Iegendary Captain James West.
终于是我的人了 And I finaIIy got him aII to myseIf.
你应该随时对他... And sureIy you shouId feeI free to treat him just...
使坏 ...bad.
亲爱的 DarIing....
等我一下，马上回来 HoId onto that for me for one second.
麦葛斯的走狗 等了一个星期，总算出现了 GeneraI McGrath's boys. Waiting for y'aII for a week, you show up now.
你今晚该不会要出任务吧？ You wouIdn't be working up here tonight, now wouId you?
拜托，美女当前出什么任务？ Working? WouId you be working if you were up here with you?
绝对不分心 I didn't think so.
马车来了 Wagon's coming!
快点，麦葛斯还在等这一批货 Come on, McGrath's waiting on this stuff.
小心搬运 Pack it up good, VirgiI.
下一站，纽奥尔良 Next stop, New OrIeans.
我绝不工作 I'm not working!
问题解决了 你不能随便把那个塞进洞里 ProbIem soIved. You can't just ram a man's personaI things into some hoIe Iike that.
指那个吗？ Is that so?
不要想歪了 I didn't mean it Iike that.
可恶，这箱很重 Damn, this crate's heavy.
吉姆 Oh, Jim...!
我还以为是我太强了 帮我把枪拿过来 Much as I'd Iike to take credit for that, you might want to hand me my gun.
太好玩了，接下来该谁了？ That was fun! Which one of you boys wants to strip down and go next?
我猜大概是你 Bet you do.
麻烦把衣服拿下来 Sure couId use some cIothes here!
这黑鬼还挺害羞的 WeII, weII. We got us a shy nig--
裤子 Pants!
There was blood on the saddle
And blood on the ground
And a great big puddle of blood all around
真对不起，我恐怕不行... I'm so sorry. That won't be possibIe. I have...
我扁桃腺发炎 ...tonsiIIitis.
我要的武器带来了吗？ I'm stiII waiting on my guns and ammunition.
我手下已经把你要的货带来了 I see my men have brought your merchandise.
麦葛斯将军... GeneraI McGrath...
大家银货两讫好办事 ...your weapons are being deIivered as we speak.
现在我们上楼去验个货吧 Now, shaII we go upstairs and check the merchandise?
那个马子介绍一下吧 Direct me to the poot, sir.
我要找个年轻又上道的 I want something young and creamy.
最好各种招式都来者不拒 A gamer that takes to the crop and the spur.
算你厉害，好吧，五十分钱 谢谢你，不过老娘没兴趣 You drive a hard bargain. AII right, 50 cents. I'm very fIattered, but I'm just not interested.
你是婊子怎会没兴趣 You gotta be interested. You're a whore!
婊子也是有职业尊严 I may be a whore, but I work aIone!
开始上工了 Now I'm working.
女士 Ma'am.
硝化甘油 Nitro!
硝化甘油不能这样运送 This is not the way you transport nitro!
小姐，请问芳名？ What's your name, missy?
朵拉 Dora.
这么巧，我妈也叫朵拉 My mother's name was Dora.
真的吗？ Oh, reaIIy?
你竟敢不给我面子 What kind of Iady are you?
这女人老子包了 She's mine!
唱首歌来听听 I feeI Iike a ditty.
快点，小妞，快唱 Go on, girI! Sing!
好吧，那我就唱了 Okay, it's a ditty.
“南方之子” ''Sons of the South.''
注意拍子 Tempo.
把我拉上去 Back on up, now.
浴血将军麦葛斯 GeneraI ''BIoodbath'' McGrath.
南方之子，荣耀来临 Sons of the South, come to glory
南方之子 Sons of the South
奋起！ Arise
我最喜欢你这种大块头女人 There's a Iot of ham for these skinny Iegs, Iet me teII you!
这种玩法我到没见过 That's a new one. Look!
放我出去，求求你 Let me out! PIease!
这间有人 -This room's occupied.
我知道 -I'II say.
我的耳朵没吓到你吧，小宝贝 Don't Iet the ear frighten you, my dove.
契卡茅加战役被割掉的 I Iost it at Chickamauga. ReaIIy? One can hardIy notice.
可以替我脱衣服吗？ WouId you heIp me undress?
每次都解不开钩子 I aIways have troubIe undoing this cIasp.
谢了 Thank you.
这是什么？ What's this?
这是一个很深，很深的池子 Why, it's a deep, deep pooI.
可能是你常游泳的地方，将军 Maybe it's your oId swimming hoIe, generaI.
你觉得想睡觉了吗？ Are you feeIing sIeepy?
是啊，我想睡了 Yes, I'm sIeepy.
很好，现在你是我的小狗狗 Good! Now you'II be my IittIe doggy.
你就告诉我所有的事情，懂吗？ When I say ''speak,'' you'II teII me everything. Understood?
很好 Very good.
隔壁房间关的科学家是谁？ Which scientist is in that sack in the other room.
是艾丝柯巴博士吗？讲话 Dr. Escobar? Speak.
你可以讲话了，大笨狗 You can speak words, you stupid mutt.
你替谁办事？ 是谁出钱叫你绑架他？讲话 Who do you work for? Who paid you to kidnap Escobar?
不，看着这个，注意看 No, watch the swirIing spiraI. Watch the--
坏狗狗 Bad dog!
坏狗狗，看着... Bad dog! Watch--
完了 Damn! Stay! Stay!
坏狗狗 Bad dog!
吓着你了 Didn't mean to startIe you, ma'am.
我猜你大概需要人帮忙 Looked Iike you needed heIp.
谁要你多管闲事，我好得很 Looks can be deceiving, dark stranger. I'm fine.
我也相信 I'm sure you are, ma'am.
像你这么壮，一定赚很多钱 Big, sturdy gaI Iike you probabIy gets top doIIar too.
拿去 Here you go.
快走吧 Run aIong.
我会唱首情歌给麦葛斯将军听 I'm gonna sing my oId friend McGrath a IuIIaby.
我需要他 I need him!
你拿了钱快走人，别丢人现眼 You got your money. Run aIong! Have some dignity.
卫斯特 West!
这样对你没好处可得 That'd be an awfuI career decision.
卫斯特，快把他抓起来 West! West! Go! Go get him!
把艾丝柯巴弄走 再动我就按下去了 Get Escobar out of here! Stop or I'II squeeze.
我是美军特工，别挡路，小姐 U.S. Army! Stay out of my way, Iady!
我不是小姐，我是联邦特警 I'm not a Iady! I'm a U.S. marshaI!
别挡我的路 Stay out of my way!
别挡路，别挡我的路 ''Get out of my way, get out of my way.
美军特工 U.S. Army.
联邦特警 U.S. marshaI.''
真绝 Oh, dear!
酒吧里有特警 FederaI agents inside, sir.
莉本芮德小姐读唇语告诉我了 So Miss Lippenreider informs me.
不过我觉得应该保持礼貌 StiII, I beIieve good manners dictate...
所以我们先送部迎宾礼车过去 ...that we shouId send out the weIcome wagon.
现在呢？ Now what?
等等，兄弟 Whoa, there, partner!
南北战争打赢了是一回事 The war may have got you 40 acres and a muIe...
不过你也不能硬闯总统办公室 ...but you can't just traipse into the President's office.
把枪给我 Give me that gun.
哪一把？这把？ What, that one?
还是这一把？ What about that one?
我若动手，你们早被干掉了 -That'II get you kiIIed. -GentIemen!
各位，别为难卫斯特上尉 Don't make Captain West any Iater than he aIready is.
最近一堆人威胁要干掉我 There've been a Iot of death threats.
国会让我雇了这些特勤组员 The Cabinet made me hire these damned detectives.
喝点什么？ Drink?
要雪茄吗？ Cigar?
不好意思麻烦你 Don't mind if I do, sir.
听说你让麦葛斯将军跑了 So I understand you Iet GeneraI McGrath get away.
情况不是你想的那样，长官 That's not exactIy the way it happened.
有个不男不女的人妖来搅局 -Some haIf-a-sissy masquerading as--
阿特摩斯高登 -Artemus Gordon.
你认识他？ You know him?
当然，他是特警队的菁英 Of course. He's the best marshaI I've got.
简直是旷世奇才 A kind of genius.
高登不仅聪明绝顶 而且勇往直前 Gordon has proven himseIf as a cunning operator, with a rapacious inteIIect.
他必排除万难，成功达成任务 Nothing wiII stop him from compIeting a mission...
只是有个笨蛋差点害他被炸死 ...except maybe the impuIsive actions of a headstrong cowboy.
老兄，你是何方神圣？ Who are you, mister?
你问我是何方神圣？ What do you mean, who am I?
我是美国总统呀 I am the President of the United States.
不对 Wrong answer.
你到底是谁？ Who are you?
我是总...我是阿特摩斯高登 I am the President of the-- I'm Artemus Gordon.
你怎么看出来的？ How did you know?
总统是西点军校毕业的 The President went to West Point.
却戴哈佛毕业戒指 That says Harvard.
非常有一套 Very observant.
你们到底在耍什么宝？ Somebody mind teIIing me what's going on here?
葛兰特总统 President Grant....
刚才情况十分危险 Sir, these are periIous times.
我在示范敌人如何利用易容术 I was mereIy demonstrating how someone, using the art of disguise...
渗透到戒备森严的白宫里 ...couId penetrate into the very boweIs of the White House, sir.
你太自以为是了，高登 You're cIever, Gordon.
总有一天你会被自己害死 就像今天 One day it's going to get you kiIIed. Like today.
还有你，卫斯特 不是每次都要照手册上教的 And West, not every situation caIIs for your approach of ''shoot first...
先开枪，继续开枪 ...shoot Iater, shoot some more...
等所有人都死光了再问问题 ...then when everybody's dead, try to ask a question or two.''
你们一起合作对彼此都好 Working together wiII heIp you.
一起合作？ -Working together? -Sir, with aII due respect--
总统，我们... 我是三军统帅，我说了算数 You'II work the way your commander in chief teIIs you to.
对，我正想这么说 WeII, I was coming to that, sir.
两位，我们碰到一个大危机 GentIemen, America's top scientists...
全美国最顶尖的科学家 ...in the fieIds of physics, hydrauIics, expIosives...
都在去年被人绑架 ...aII kidnapped in the Iast year
证实是麦葛斯将军主使 and aII by GeneraI McGrath, it now appears.
两位都一直在办这个案子 You two have been working on the same case the whoIe time.
怎么会到现在才搞清楚？ Why did it take so Iong to figure it out?
我们之中有人差点逮到他 One of us was trying to catch McGrath
可惜另一个人想嫁给他 and the other was trying to marry him.
没时间耍嘴皮子 We don't have time for this.
我们只有一个礼拜的时间 OnIy one week, if we beIieve this;
葛兰特，你寻找的科学家 ''GeneraI, the scientists
目前都在替我研发武器系统 you seek are in my empIoy creating a weapons system...
这个武器将超乎现代科技想像 ...beyond the paIe of contemporary imagination.
历史和正义站在我这边 I suggest you put your affairs in order.
限你一周内向联邦政府投降 You have one week before you wiII surrender the U.S. government.''
这信和那蛋糕一起送来的 The Ietter was deIivered today with that cake.
是杏仁口味吗？ -It's marzipan, isn't it?
小心 -CarefuI.
是麦葛斯寄来的 It's McGrath, sir.
麦葛斯是个有勇无谋的大老粗 有幕后主使者 McGrath may be a vicious kiIIer, but a mastermind he is not.
根据情报局线报 So whom do we seek? After consuIting with InteIIigence--
麦葛斯正往纽奥尔良路上 McGrath is on his way to New OrIeans.
我们在这里纸上谈兵 他早就远走高飞，不想也知道 The Ionger we're here...the farther he runs. I don't need InteIIigence.
不，你最好别太冲动 You'd rather reIy on stupidity.
两位，我今天动身去犹他州 GentIemen, I am Ieaving for Utah...
州际铁路要在那儿连接 ...where the transcontinentaI raiIroads wiII be joined at Promontory Point.
你们是我最顶尖的特勤人员 You two are the best I've got.
希望你们抛弃成见 Put aside your differences...
合力阻止这幕后疯子的阴谋 ...and find this madman, whoever he is, and stop him.
你们只有一个礼拜 You have one week.
解散 Dismissed.
两位 GentIemen.
总统指定流浪者号供你们来用 The Wanderer is at your disposaI.
五号车头，停在第六轨道 Engine number five, track six.
高登先生，这是你要的东西 Mr. Gordon, the item you requested.
谢谢 Thank you.
这什么啊 Figures. My new invention.
我的新发明 双气门内燃机 双排气双抽式爆震循环 The Bi-VaIve Interior Combustion Twice-Exhausted Bi-AxIe Nitro-CycIe.
少罗唆，要赶不上火车了 Save it. Got a train to catch.
我绝对不让火车等你 Not if I catch it first.
这马跑得很快嘛 Nice horse!
高登，把火车停下来 Gordon! Stop the train!
臭小子，我警告你 Hey! I'm warning you!
高登，快停车 Gordon! Stop the train!
进来啊，请坐 Come in. Have a seat.
把火车停下来 Stop the train!
别对我傻笑 Stop smiIing at me!
欢迎“降临” How nice of you to drop in.
这样吧 AII right....
别老用一些怪里怪气的鬼玩意 Let's drop the beards, the bikes, the fake boobies.
男子汉有本事就别玩花样 Let's set that needIepoint aside and handIe this Iike men.
澄清一下，这可不算什么花样 As a matter of cIarification, this is not needIepoint.
这才叫做花样 This is needIepoint.
我正在做最后的修改 I'm putting the finaI touches on my Iatest invention.
这东西叫做金钟宝甲 I caII it The ImpermeabIe.
这件背心，把它穿在身上... It's a vest. When worn under cIothing...
刀枪不入，即使近距离开枪 ...it can stop any buIIet, fired even at cIose range.
真那么神？ 不过还没实际试验过 -Is that so? -But I haven't tested it fuIIy yet.
我觉得只要做好万全的计划 根本不需要动刀动枪 I find guns so primitive and unnecessary if one's done one's proper pIanning.
我总认为全靠暴力来解决问题 I have aIways feIt that aIIowing any situation to degenerate into vioIence...
简直是形同失败 ...constitutes a faiIure on my part.
那么，高登先生 WeII, Mr. Gordon...
你失败了 ...you faiIed.
好吧，卫斯特，我们就来... AII right, Mr. West, we'II settIe this...
一对一单挑 ...Iike men.
我爱死这辆火车 I Iove this train.
干杯 Cheers!
反正你在下面，闲着也是闲着 WhiIe you're down there, feeI free to make use...
正好试试我的底座逃生系统 ...of my Sub-Carriage Inter-RaiI VehicuIar Egressor.
我自己设计的 I designed it myseIf!
我觉得总统可能是对的 I've been thinking. Maybe the President's right.
我们应该抛弃成见，互相合作 We shouId put aside our differences and work together.
你们要是把我的火车弄坏了 Fight each other aII you pIease. Harm my train...
别怪我不客气 ...I'II douse you Iike dogs.
柯曼，那是我的松露浓汁 That's my truffIe reduction sauce.
你们可以办正经事了吗？ Let's get on about our President's business, shaII we?
现往哪开？ -Where to?
纽奥尔良 让摩顿教授来决定吧 -New OrIeans. Why don't we Iet Professor Morton decide?
不用无名小卒来告诉我往哪开 I don't need some nobody professor teIIing me where to head.
摩顿教授 Meet Professor Thaddeus Morton,
六周前从麻省理工学院被绑架 kidnapped from M.I.T. six months ago.
冶金学权威 Expert in the fieId of metaIIurgy.
尸体在田野间被发现 Discovered in a fieId of aIfaIfa.
那是个人头 That's a man's head.
这磁铁圈在他尸体附近发现的 This magnetic coIIar was found about six feet away, near his body.
我还没研究出端倪 StiII trying to figure that one out.
那是个人头 That's a man's head.
根据视网膜解剖学理论 According to the RetinaI Terminus Theory, a dying person's Iast image...
会像照相一样印在他眼球后方 ...burns into his eyebaII Iike a photo.
搞不好可以发现线索 Perhaps there's a cIue there.
我们来瞧瞧摩顿死前看到什么 I give you Morton's Iast image.
那是个... That's
人头 a man's head.
由于折射的关系 Refraction of the Ienses causes
影像上下颠倒，所以... the image to appear upside down, so we....
那... That...
是...个... ...is a man's...
人头 ...head.
麦葛斯 McGrath.
他口袋里有东西 Something in his pocket.
不过太模糊了看不清楚 It's too fuzzy to see.
由于眼角膜和水晶体之间的... Mortification of the aqueous humor's Ied to a Ioss--
需要眼镜 GIasses.
南方的朋友们... ''Friends of the South,
四月十四日八点半化妆舞会 come to a costume baII, ApriI 1 4, haIf past 8.
花园区松树广场 346 Pine Court, Garden District.''
纽奥尔良 New OrIeans.
你要扮成吉普赛女郞或海盗？ Gypsy queen...pirate....
如何？你可以扮成我的仆人 How about this? You can come as my manservant.
是的，高登主人 Why, yes'um, Master Gordon!
我真是受宠若惊 I swears I'd be deIighted!
让我为你高歌伴舞，主人 I sing and I dance for you, sir!
要我扮成你的仆人让你使唤 I swears none of the other white foIks'II know I'd rather shoot myseIf...
我不如自杀算了 ...than pIay your damn manservant.
化妆舞会总是得打扮打扮 You must wear something. It's a costume party.
我只要带这些就好了 This is aII I need to wear.
我有你能带的武力装备 If you insist on a firearm, I have something...
你一定喜欢 ...you'II find intriguing.
整体设计的 I designed it to go...
正好搭配 ...with this.
我绝不打扮得怪里怪气 Jim West does not wear costumes.
那你打算怎么办？ Very weII. What's your pIan?
我大概会冲进去表明身份后 I was thinking I'd go as a government agent...
一枪毙了浴血将军麦葛斯 ...who's gonna kiII GeneraI BIoodbath McGrath.
黑人牛仔持枪闯入 An armed, Negro cowboy costume in a room
欢乐舞会当场血溅五步 fuII of white former sIave owners.
壮烈成仁 You'II win first prize.
听好，我们不化妆就混不进去 Listen, the art of disguise is what we need to get into the party... ...to find the kidnapped scientists...
等他们被逼迫发明出新武器 ...before they're forced to create something
国家就真的危险了 that'II destroy the U.S.
我们是总统亲自挑选的 You and I have been handpicked by the President himseIf.
我们要为自由而奋战 Our freedom is at stake, and this is our duty as men.
现在你扮成船长 Now, you go as a riverboat captain,
我来扮酒吧女郞 and I'II be a saIoon girI.
说到你的酒吧女郞伪装 About your beIoved art of disguise....
那一次我就看出你是男的 That night at Fat-Can's, it wasn't difficuIt to see you weren't a woman.
男人都缠着我不放 I was propositioned by three men.
你真是丑毙了 You Iooked nasty.
真是丑得吓人 Just butt-ugIy. I mean, your breasts were hard and stiff...
还有你的胸部坚硬无比 好像是两颗生锈的炮弹 ...and stuck out Iike a coupIe of rusty cannons on a sunken ship.
女人胸部是上帝的杰作 是美学与科学的完美结合 These breasts are a work of art. AestheticaIIy and scientificaIIy perfect.
而你的简直太假了 They Iook Iike shit.
摸摸看 -Touch them.
我才不碰 怕了吗？摸摸看嘛 -I'm not touching them!Afraid you're wrong? Touch my breasts!
摸一边，一边就好 Just one. Touch one!
高兴了吗？我在摸你胸部 Happy? I'm touching them.
我就知道他们怪怪的 I knew it!
轻一点压 Squeeze it gentIy.
太用力了，你压得荞麦移位了 Not that hard! Now you've shifted aII the buckwheat around.
荞麦？问题就在这里 Buckwheat? That's your probIem.
你干嘛？ What are you doing?
你摸我的看看 Now touch my breast.
胸部摸起来的感觉就是这样 That's what a breast shouId feeI Iike.
不错 Very nice.
你自己摸摸看 天啊，我的真硬 -Now touch yourseIf. -Oh, my God, I'm hard!
我只是想作笔记啦 I was just gonna jot down a note.
那可能是钢笔手枪 You couId put a gun on that thing.
那我的笔要放哪里？ Then where wouId I keep my penciI?
放口袋不就得了 I think you underestimate the convenience of a pocket.
小子，你在这里干嘛？ What are you doing here, boy?
对不起，先生 I sorry, sir.
我希望... I was hoping....
我希望我用不着... I was hoping I wouIdn't...
一拳打断你的鼻子 ...have to break your nose.
白人 White foIks.
不要碰我 Get your hands off me!
我宁可跟那些臭家伙关在一起 Put me in the dungeon with those smeIIy, bearded men.
我绝不做这种事 是你自己来找工作的 But I won't get on that!-You appIied for the position.
不是陪人上床的工作 -A standing-up one!
我是个歌舞女郞 I'm an entertainer.
别抱怨了，你会喜欢的 Stop compIaining. You'II enjoy it.
一身牛仔劲装配上六发左轮枪 An authentic cowboy outfit, compIete with six-guns.
你的造型真可爱，阁下是... What a terribIy cIever costume, Mr...?
卫斯特 West.
吉姆卫斯特 Jim West.
东西方相会，我叫梅李伊丝特 West meets East. Mae Lee East.
你好 Ma'am.
你一个人来，卫斯特先生？ Are you here aIone, Mr. West?
其实要给我老朋友一个惊喜 I'm Iooking to surprise an oId friend, GeneraI McGrath.
你有看到麦葛斯将军吗？ Have you seen him?
好像没有邀请这个人 I don't think that name was on our guest Iist.
不然我一定知道 And I wouId know.
我是乐福里斯博士的特别助理 I am Dr. LoveIess' personaI assistant.
乐福里斯博士？ Dr. ArIiss LoveIess?
大家都以为他死了 Funny how some foIks think he's dead.
这个派对是庆祝他重出江湖 Tonight is his coming-out party.
有看到想认识的人吗？ See anybody that Iooks famiIiar?
不瞒你说，有 Matter of fact, I do.
真让我妒忌 I am jeaIous.
不用妒忌 Don't be.
待会到前廊等我 Meet me Iater in the foyer.
Mine eyes have seen the glory Of the coming of the Lord
He is trampling out the vintage Where the grapes of wrath are stored
He has loosed the fateful lightning
Of His terrible swift sword
His truth is marching on
刚刚那首歌有够难听吧？ Don't you just hate that song?
大家好像见到鬼似的 Why, y'aII Iook Iike you've seen a ghost.
是我啦，各位朋友们 It's me, dear friends.
我没死并且还能动 AIive and kicking.
反正还活着就是了 WeII, aIive, anyway.
即使我们打败仗 We may have Iost the war...
不过我们还没失去幽默感 ...but heaven knows we haven't Iost our sense of humor.
就算我们失去了肺 No, not even when we Iost a Iung...
失去脾脏 ...a spIeen...
失去阴囊 ...a bIadder...
失去两条腿 ...two Iegs...
失去三十五尺的小肠 ...35 feet of smaII intestine...
失去我们的生殖能力 ...and our abiIity to reproduce,
也要为南军而战 aII in the name of the South!
我们会失去幽默感吗？ Do we ever Iose our sense of humor?
现在，这些远道来的欧洲贵宾 Now, I owe a deep debt of gratitude...
对我的热情帮助，我欠他们... ...to our friends from across the sea for their comfort...
一份人情 ...and kindness.
请把这里当自己的家 So mi casa es su casa !
我们尽情狂欢吧 Let the party begin!
卫斯特先生 Mr. West.
欢迎你也来参加 How nice of you to join us...
这真是万白丛中一点黑呀 ...and add coIor to these monochromatic proceedings.
老友奇迹似地死里逃生 When one comes back from the dead...
我当然要亲自前来恭贺 ...I find that an occasion to stand up, be counted.
伊丝特小姐告诉我 Miss East informs me that
你来这里要找麦葛斯将军 you expected to see GeneraI McGrath here.
我一年前见过他 I knew him years ago...
不过已好久没见到他了 ...but I haven't seen him in a coon's age.
像你这种神龙见首不见尾的人 It'd be difficuIt for a man of your stature...
恐怕很难和别人保持联络 ...to keep in touch with even haIf the peopIe you know.
伊丝特小姐会好好招待你 Perhaps Miss East wiII keep you from being a sIave to your disappointment.
以免你白来一趟而大失所望 BeautifuI women encourage you one minute and...
然后让你自讨没趣 ...then cut the Iegs out from under you.
的确，失陪了，卫斯特先生 Quite. WiII you excuse me, Mr. West?
谢谢你 Thank you.
你把这女人弄上床会把你吓死 You're in for a big surprise when you get this one in the saddIe.
蠢牛仔 Stupid cowboy!
他把你当成是我扮的 He mistake you for me.
炸药和枪弹都在酒吧被炸毁了 Since the nitro and guns were destroyed,
现在大家士气低落 Iice and demoraIization has set in--
麦葛斯将军，打断一下 GeneraI McGrath, if I may interrupt.
你手下们今晚一定会有武器 Your men wiII have their weapons tonight...
而且我保证他们将会参与... ...and they wiII be part of
本世纪最伟大的一场胜利战役 the greatest miIitary victory of this century.
请召集你的手下们 So have your men...
到此集合 ...here...
于今晚十点 ...at 1 0;00 tonight.
能追随你的领导 You, sir, are a pip.
即使粉身碎骨也在所不辞 I'd foIIow you into the jaws of Cerberus hisseIf.
说得好 And so you shaII.
（茅瑞）
我叫你去前廊等我 I said to meet me in the foyer.
前廊？ Foyer?
对不起，我不懂你的法文 WeII, I've never been much good with French.
卫斯特先生，我问你 So Iet's see, Mr. West.
你是认为自己是个危险的间谍 Are you a dangerous spy of some sort...
还是认为自己是个英俊的牛仔 ...or just a handsome cowboy...
没事喜欢... ...who Iikes to...
到处猎艳？ ...poke around?
我想应该是第二种 I beIieve I'm that second one.
东方的伊丝特与西方的卫斯特 East and West.
永远不应该配成一对 Never the twain shaII meet.
你的扮相真是丑毙了 First, I'd Iike to reiterate that you make one ugIy woman.
还有，你在外面打屁的时候 WhiIe you were out here,
我发现乐福里斯博士和麦葛斯 I found out Dr. LoveIess......is meeting McGrath
一小时后要在茅瑞会师 and his troops in an hour.
你就继续在派对鬼混下去吧 You go right ahead, enjoy the party.
我要去拯救我们的国家了 I'm going to save the RepubIic.
对了，你今天的咪咪挺像真的 By the way, boobies Iook great tonight. Nice and perky!
把他吊起来 Hang him!
我们要教教你正确的礼仪规范 We need to teach y'aII a Iesson about how to behave in poIite society.
不能在红脖子（南方白人）的... 咪咪上打鼓，我懂了 Never drum on a white Iady's boobies at a big redneck dance. Got it.
很高兴，我们终于把话讲开了 Sure am gIad we got that cIeared up.
我的天啊 My God!
抱歉，打搅到你了吗？ Excuse me, am I intruding?
我好像在哪里见过你 I feeI I know you from somewhere.
少假惺惺了，混蛋 Nice try, buster. I Iook Iike something out of James Fenimore Cooper...
我知道我长得像坏人 不过我保证我不会害你 ...but I mean you no harm.
我叫阿特摩斯.高登 My name is Artemus Gordon...
看来你好像有麻烦，让我来 ...and if I'm not mistaken, you're in troubIe. AIIow me.
我叫莉妲 I'm Rita.
我是歌舞女郞 I was hired as an entertainer.
借问一下，你来这干嘛？ Not that I'm compIaining, but why are you here?
我在找一群失踪的科学家们 I'm Iooking for some missing scientists, not that I'm compIaining.
我是联邦特警，总统特派员 I'm a speciaI U.S. marshaI on assignment from the President.
要是你真这么行，干嘛来这里 If you're so speciaI, how come you're Iooking up here...
所有的人都被关在地窖里 ...when LoveIess has them down in the dungeon?
地窖里空无一人 The dungeon has been cIeared out.
我一到这里就先去查过那地方 I checked it after sampIing the gumbo, which was heavy on the okra.
好了 There you are.
谢了，阿特摩斯，没叫错吧？ Thank you. Artemus, was it?
没错 It was.
我会好好记得你的 I don't forget a face that easiIy.
各位，请注意 Like to have everybody's attention.
我想今晚是个天大的误会 We've had a series of major misunderstandings this evening...
让我来好好解释一下 ...and I'd Iike to take a minute to cIear a few of them up.
首先，关于我在她咪咪上打鼓 First of which, the whoIe drumming on the boobies thing.
在我的故乡 In my native Iand--
乔治亚州？ -Georgia?
非洲 -Africa.
我的祖先靠鼓声传话给远村 --my ancestors used drums to communicate between viIIages.
相信各位看得出来 Y'aII can see how,
这女士鼓声可直达路易安那州 with this gaI, we can communicate aII the way to Baton Rouge.
天气好的话，还可以传到德州 On a cIear night, we might even get GaIveston.
其实我对她说的是... AII I was saying to the gaI was,
衣服真好看，亲爱的 ''Nice dress, darIing.
幸会，我叫吉姆，令堂可好？ Good to see you. My name's Jim. How's your mama?''
结果就发生了红脖子事件 Then there was the redneck comment.
显然大家都认为这种事不好 And I'm getting the sense that y'aII took that negativeIy.
让我来解释一下 But Iet's break down that word.
红脖子 ''Redneck.''
第一个字，红 First word; Red.
代表了热情，火力，体力 CoIor of passion, fire, power.
第二个字，脖子 Second word; Neck.
脖子... Neck....
我一时想不起来它的意义 I can't think of anything for ''neck,''
不过大家都领略到“红” but without it y'aII stiII got ''red.''
这真让人感到无比骄傲 That's something to be reaIIy proud of.
至于你我之间的黑奴问题 And between us, the whoIe sIavery thing...
我觉得那根本没什么大不了 ...I don't understand what the big deaI was anyway.
谁不想找人来帮忙打打杂 Who wouIdn't want foIks running around doing chores?
难道你们会喜欢一早起床 Are you going to get your big, fat ass out of bed...
还要自己去扫厕所吗？ ...and pick your own damn cotton?
我看绝对不会 所以，大家进去好好玩吧 I don't think so. So Iet's head on inside, knock us back some shine.
好好享受舞会，来吧 Iick this shindig off the right way!
来吧，大家把一切都抛开 Come on! Put this thing away.
快点，大家进去吧 Come on! Let's go inside!
好嘛，先等一等 AII right, hoId on. HoId on!
男子汉敢作敢为 I stand before you as a man reaIizing
我知道我错了 that I've done something wrong.
亲爱的，给我补偿的机会 DarIing, I'd Iike the opportunity to make it right.
你愿意嫁给我吗？ WiII you marry me?
显然不愿意，好吧，亲爱的 That means ''no.'' Okay, darIing, Iisten.
早知应该讲我以为你是男扮的 WouId it heIp if I said I thought you were a man?
那条绳子有文章 Something's funny about that damn rope!
谢了，我们玩得很愉快 Thank you! We had a IoveIy time!
吊起来？我应一枪毙了你 ''Hang him! Hang him!'' I ought to shoot you right now.
这是我的伙伴，吉姆卫斯特 AIIow me to introduce you to my trigger-happy partner, James West...
他不了解我伟大的绳子发明 ...who doesn't reaIize that my Expanding Rope invention...
让我发现了失踪的科学家 ...was a diversion aIIowing me to find the missing scientists.
科学家？ Scientists?
这是莉妲 我在乐福里斯的房间找到她 This is Rita. I found her in a cage in LoveIess' bedroom.
她是个歌舞女郞 She's an entertainer.
我很抱歉，我没有对你说实话 I'm afraid I haven't been quite honest with you about that.
我叫莉妲艾丝柯巴 My name is Rita Escobar.
我是来找朱勒摩，失踪科学家 I came to find GuiIIermo Escobar, the scientist.
他是我爸爸 My father.
抱歉打断你们姐妹叙旧 Sorry to interrupt,
不过我得赶去茅瑞 but I gotta get to MaIheureux Point.
茅瑞？ MaIheureux Point?
这家伙真是激动 He's so impetuous.
对啊，他很愚蠢 Yes, he's an idiot.
将军，从新自由港到这里真远 WeII, generaI, it's been a Iong journey from New Liberty.
我等这一天很久了 Not a day goes by that I don't contempIate it, sir.
我也是 So do I.
要是我早知道这些火药的威力 If I'd had the scientific understanding of gunpowder and primers I have today...
我今天仍然是站在这个地方 ...I might've been standing here.
我不是这个意思 你一手导演的大屠杀 That's not what I meant. You meant the stomach-churning carnage...
让你赢得了一个可怕的外号 ...that earned you your unfortunate nom de guerre.
这外号叫什么来着？ What was that nickname again?
浴血将军麦葛斯 BIoodbath McGrath.
新自由港的屠夫 The Butcher of New Liberty.
他们应该要来了 They ought to be here by now.
搞不好我们搞错地方了 Maybe we're in the wrong pIace.
不可能搞错，就是这地方 We're supposed to wait exactIy on this here spot.
来了 There.
你这混蛋，你背叛了我们 You sawed-off sadistic bastard! You betrayed us!
我用我的下半身为代价 Having donated haIf my being to create
换来这么威力强大的武器 a weapon capabIe of doing this...
你和李将军是怎么回报我的？ ...how did you and GeneraI Lee repay my IoyaIty?
你们竟向北军投降 到底是谁背叛谁？ You surrendered at Appomattox! So who betrayed whom?
穆妮夏，炮塔速度要加强 Munitia, make note the turret speed must be acceIerated.
把转速比提高到二点八 Change gear ratio from 2.2 to 2.8.
他们在尖叫... Scream...scream....
救命啊 ''HeIp me.''
不要拉我的手 ''Do not puII my arm!''
你马上命令他们住手 I demand you give the order to stop this sIaughter now!
我们还要多演习几次 We'II need more Ioading driIIs. I hear too much time between screams.
装填弹药太慢了 你马上叫他们住手 Give them the order to desist!
我了解你的痛苦 I understand your distress, but these men are not dying senseIessIy.
不过这些人牺牲并非毫无价值 他们是为了崇高的理想而死 It is for a far greater cause than you can possibIy imagine.
你去死吧 You go straight to heII, sir!
你先请便 After you, sir.
浴血将军麦葛斯 BIoodbath McGrath...
名符其实 ...indeed.
派对结束了 That concIudes the festivities.
女士们，把他丢到海里喂螃蟹 Ladies, feed him to the crabs.
人类自有史以来 以军队人数为一国军力指标 Since the beginning of written history, a nation's power has been determined...
今晚我们即将改写历史 ...by the size of its army. Tonight, that chapter wiII be cIosed.
传统军队和联邦政府 即将要永远消失 The traditionaI army, to say nothing of the United States, wiII become extinct.
他们面对的是... Laid Iow by a crippIe...
如同将军形容的... ...as the generaI so amusingIy impIied...
高科技机械武力 ...and ''mechanoIogy.'' But that tank is just a IittIe hors d'oeuvre...
全面顶尖科学家们 ...compared to what the country's greatest scientists are cooking up.
如果各位有兴趣的话 So, if I have piqued your interest...
请带着一百公斤的黄金 ...bring 1 000 kiIograms of goId...
四天后到蜘蛛峡谷来会合 ...to Spider Canyon within the next four days.
各位失陪了，我先走了 And now, if you'II excuse me, I have a tank to catch.
从尸体分布的位置判断 Judging from the position of these bodies...
是被三百六十度旋转火力杀伤 ...it Iaid down a 360-degree pattern of cannon fire.
我快吐了 I think I'm gonna be sick.
我的天啊 My God.
到底是什么样的武器 What kind of weapon did this?
它会不断地旋转 It roIIs on and on,
发出刺耳的声音 making a screeching sound Iike a wounded animaI.
上面的座舱配有大炮 It has a cabin on top with a cannon.
座舱会像老鹰的头一样旋转 It swiveIs around Iike an eagIe's head.
你曾看过？ You saw it?
我听来的 Heard about it.
我以为那是生还者瞎掰的 I thought it was crazy survivors' stories.
生还者？ Survivors?
不在这里 Not here.
靠近州界的解放黑奴小镇 New Liberty, IIIinois, a free sIave town just over the border.
南北战争结束前一周 A week before the war ended in '65,
当时我在第九骑兵团 I was with the 9th CavaIry.
现场尸横遍野，无人幸免 We discovered oId foIks, women and chiIdren sIaughtered.
凶手显然以他们为肉靶 They used them for target practice.
于是我发誓不抓到他永不罢休 That's when I vowed to chase this yeIIow deviI to his grave.
怎么了，卫斯特？ What's wrong, West?
这下子可顺了你的心 I thought you'd be gIad to see me Iike this.
老实讲，我有点失望 ActuaIIy, I'm kind of disappointed.
我真希望能亲手杀了你这屠夫 I was hoping to kiII the Butcher of New Liberty myseIf.
要杀就快动手，送我下地狱吧 WeII, go on, shoot. Send me on to heII.
不过你要找的大屠杀真凶 But if you want the deviI that's responsibIe for New Liberty...
是乐福里斯 ...it's LoveIess.
他亲手操作那部杀人机器 He manned the machine there.
连老弱妇孺都不放过 He kiIIed aII them chiIdren, oId foIks...
就像他杀光我的手下们 ...just Iike he kiIIed my boys here.
他人呢？ Where is he?
他在哪里？ Where did he go?
他人在哪里？ Where's he going?!
我知道 I know that.
带我一起去，我就告诉你 I'II teII you if you take me aIong.
不说就把你丢下 You'II teII me, or I'II Ieave you here.
在宴会里我听到有女孩说... The girIs at the mansion, you know, they taIk.
不晓得我的头发在沙漠地区 会不会卷曲？ ''I wonder if my hair wiII get frizzy in the desert.''
犹他州到底在哪里？ ''Where is this Oo-tah anyway?''
犹他州 Utah.
柯曼，出发到犹他州 Let's go, CoIeman. Utah.
遵命，长官 Aye, sir.
我们为何不送她回德州？ Why couIdn't we give her a ride home to Texas?
反正顺路嘛 It's on the way.
顺路吗？总统现在人在犹他州 On our way to Utah, where our President is.
你不觉得这实在太巧了 How do you feeI about that coincidence?
要不是她，我们根本不会知道 We wouIdn't have known where LoveIess was going if not for her.
不顺路送她回去太不近人情了 Seems a bit ungracious, if not periIous.
她和我可能会搞上，影响任务 She'd have been in our way. She and I wouId've wound up in the saddIe.
太可笑了，她看上的人是我 That's funny, I got the feeIing she was more interested in me.
我从乐福里斯的角度思考 I've tried to pIace myseIf in LoveIess' shoes.
那没“脚”就不用思考啦 Good Iuck with that one.
一个被阉的疯子为什么抓莉妲 What couId a maniac with no reproductive organs want with Rita?
虽然莉妲的长相... Which is not to say that Rita doesn't possess...
谈不上倾国倾城，沉鱼落雁 ...a beauty worthy of a Shakespeare sonnet or a BotticeIIi painting.
不过，她的臀部曲线... My God, the curvature of her buttocks...
还有她那两个大咪咪 ...and the sweII of that magnificent bosom!
那么饱满、那么华丽 So fuII, so sumptuous....
所以派对上那些外国大使 So...what were aII those foreign ministers doing at LoveIess' party?
到底想干嘛？ 这一点我实在想不通 This is what reaIIy puzzIes me.
你有想过这问题吗？ Did you have any idea there were so many?
她什么时候进来的？ -How Iong has she been here?
你说她那大咪咪的时候 -Somewhere around BotticeIIi's buttocks.
真是太失礼了 I am profoundIy sorry.
我会原谅你的 准备一下，你要下车了 I'II spare you the embarrassment. Make a sandwich. You're getting off.
我知道派对为什么有大使参加 I know why those foreign guys were at LoveIess' party.
太棒了，你怎么煮的？ This is fantastic. How do you cook it? I mean, you can cut it with a fork.
用砂锅焖烧，法国式烹调法 In a daubiere. It's a cIay pot. It's a French method.
外国大使 Foreign ministers.
他们好像对某件事不高兴 They were mad about something, you know, Iike...
似乎有关路易斯安那州的交易 ...there was some reaI bad deaI in Louisiana on purpose.
路易斯安那州的买卖 The Louisiana Purchase.
好像法国某某女王被骗了 And Queen somebody of France got swindIed.
是西班牙女王 Queen IsabeIIa of Spain.
太荒谬，柯曼，把火车停下来 This is ridicuIous. CoIeman, stop the train.
艾丝柯巴小姐是谁？ -Miss Escobar's getting off. -Who the hell is Miss Escobar?
一个饥寒交迫，饱受惊吓... A frightened, starving,
衣衫半裸，千里寻父的女子 haIf-naked young woman who wants to find her father.
衣衫半裸？ HaIf-naked?
柯曼，把火车停下来 CoIeman, stop the train!
我们不能把人丢在荒郊野外 We're not putting anybody off here in the middle of nowhere!
尤其是衣衫半裸的人 Especially if they're half-naked!
求求你，我父亲是我唯一亲人 PIease, Jim. My father's the onIy famiIy I've got.
难道要我坐在家里等他的死讯 Am I to sit at home and wait for news that he's been kiIIed, or do something? What wouId you do?
我对你没有任何成见 I don't have anything against you.
不过要是我们找到乐福里斯 What happens when we find LoveIess
你在车上会碍手碍脚 and you're stiII on this train?
我知道你不会让他把我抓走 I know you'd never Iet him take me back.
我知道你是神枪手 I've seen you shoot.
我保证，乐福里斯发动的攻击 Let me assure you any attack by LoveIess
都将只是白费力气 wouId be an exercise in futiIity.
让我示范我精心设计的成果 I'II demonstrate how some of my design suggestions...
让流浪者号成为攻不破的堡垒 ...have made the Wanderer compIeteIy impervious to attack.
你看，这三粒平凡无奇的撞球 Over here, three seemingIy innocent biIIiard baIIs, yes?
只要按下号吗，在三秒钟内... Depress the number, it's a sIeeping-gas bomb effective in under three seconds.
所以放轻松 So put your mind at ease.
你在这里安全得很 You are safe within these waIIs.
这我不敢说，如果乐福里斯... I don't know about you, but I'II sIeep better...
只是来打撞球，觉才能睡得好 ...assuming LoveIess barges in here to pIay pooI.
说到睡觉，我还真的累了 And speaking of sIeeping, I'm reaIIy tired,
阿特摩斯 Artie.
能不能借我件衣服穿？ 我只有... CouId I borrow something to wear?-I have just--
我有衣服借你穿 -I got something you can wear.
样式不怎么样，不过绝不爆炸 It ain't styIish, but it won't expIode when you put it on.
有得穿就好 That wouId be nice.
乐福里斯绑架了冶金学家 LoveIess has kidnapped a few metaIIurgists, so...
所以他一定在制造装甲武器 ...whatever he's buiIding wiII have armor. He kidnapped a coupIe of chemists...
一定是制作炸药 ...so it'II have expIosives.
根据你的说法 According to you,
莉妲的爸爸是水力学专家 Rita's father's the worId's foremost expert in hydrauIics...
所以这东西一定会移动 ...so the thing's gonna move.
他到底在制造什么鬼东西 What couId he buiId that'd
竟威胁总统向他投降 make the President surrender the government?
暖气炉 A bedside heater.
什么？ What?
莉妲要暖气炉，里面很冷 Rita needs a bedside heater. It gets quite chiIIy back there.
我就说她会让我们分心 That's what I was taIking about. The distraction.
你说什么？ What?
晚安，谢谢你们救了我 Good night, and thank you for saving me.
晚安 Good night, ma'am.
那件衣服... That outfit--
很合身 -Is most becoming.
很可爱，希望不会太透风 -LoveIy. I hope it's not too breezy.
后面 -Back there. -But if there's anything....
有什么需要的话... Anything at aII....
找我 I'm right here.
你们俩真好 Aren't you boys nice?
祝有个好梦 WeII, sweet dreams.
我早说她会让我们分心 I toId you she'd be a distraction.
放心，不会啦 She's not a distraction.
有她在真好，带来新屁股 It's nice having her onboard. She's a breath of fresh ass.
你说什么？
什么？ Pardon me?
你说“屁股” You said ''ass.''
有她在真好，带来新气象 No, I said, ''It's nice having her onboard, she's a breast of fresh air.''
别说了，睡觉吧 Let's just get some shut-ass.
乐福里斯出现了 We have LoveIess, gentIemen.
七百码，接近中 Seven hundred yards and cIosing.
保持速度，我来了 Maintain this speed. I'm coming up.
这是什么？ -What's that? -I took the Iiberty...
我在你睡觉时装上去的 ...of instaIIing that whiIe you sIept.
不要替我改装任何东西 Don't take Iiberties with my things!
好啦 Very good.
我还在你衣服里装上几样机关 I've onIy made one or two additions to your wardrobe.
这是怎么搞的？ Am I missing something here?
我们明明在追着他 If we are pursuing LoveIess...
怎么他会在我们后面？ ...why is he behind us?
明白了吧 That's why.
怎么回事？ What's going on?
没事，快趴下 Nothing. It's fine. Get down.
快按下按钮 -Push that magic button.
你在干嘛？ -What are you doing?
你的伟大发明该上场了 要有计划先 Seeing if your Egressor works. We need a pIan.
快按钮 -Push the button!
好吧 -Very good.
他真是勇敢 He's so courageous.
麻烦替我拿根球杆来 WouId you puII on one of those pooI cues?
这根吗？ -This one?
谢谢 -Thank you.
勇气得靠精巧机关支援才有用 You know, courage is onIy as good as the machinery that supports it.
祝好运 Good Iuck.
我已瞄准好了，长官 I have them square in my sights, sire.
我也是，穆妮夏，我也瞄好了 As do I, Munitia. As do I!
发射 Fire away!
我决定了即使被乐福里斯抓到 That's it! I won't Iet LoveIess take me away!
宁死不屈 -I'd rather be dead!
别说这个，不吉利 -That's not a good thing to wish for!
求求你，别丢下我不管 PIease, Artie! Don't Ieave me aIone!
我们需要那辆火车 Ladies, we need a new train.
把球给我，我有个计划 不给 -Give me the baII. -I won't!
是乐福里斯 It's LoveIess!
不，不是他 是他啦 -No, it isn't. -Yes, it is!
一旦按下号码 An innocent biIIiard baII this way, but depress the number...
我们的任务就毁了 ...and on impact it ruins our mission.
不要动 -Don't move!
不要抓我的腿 -Let go of my Ieg.
乐福里斯在我们身上装磁铁圈 LoveIess has fitted us with the same metaI device that we found on Morton.
早安，两位 Good morning, gentIemen.
你们应该睡得很好 I trust you sIept weII.
你把莉妲怎么呢？ 莉妲？你们和她混熟了嘛 -What have you done with Rita? -Rita, is it? How famiIiar!
莉妲在房间里还没醒过来 Rita is sIeeping off the aftereffects in the stateroom.
她真可爱，对吧？ She is quite IoveIy, isn't she?
也许我很快也会和她很熟 Who knows? I might even become famiIiar with her myseIf.
这样我就有理由杀了你们 -That'd be one more reason to kiII you.
对了，卫斯特先生 -Oh, yes, Mr. West.
像你这种黑色种马的大情人 To a no doubt weII-endowed bIackamoor Iike yourseIf...
恐怕很难想像我这种怪物... ...it seems impossibIe that a freak Iike me
要如何让女人感到满足 couId enjoy the pIeasure of a woman.
不过你们见识我的机械威力 But having witnessed my use of mechanoIogy thus far...
难道不相信我能替我下半身... ...don't you think I'd devise something for my Iower body...
制造出精巧的代用品来办事？ ...that was hard-pumping and indefatigabIy steeIy?
对了，提到办事 And, speaking of hard-pumping, Mr. CoIeman...
柯曼先生加足马力全速前进 ...fuII steam ahead.
这火车真酷，借用一下可以吗 What a marveIous train. You don't mind my borrowing it, do you?
虽然没有轮椅出入口 Aside from a Iack of wheeIchair access...
不过坐着这列火车前往... ...I find it a most comfortabIe way...
我的蜘蛛谷实验室，真是享受 ...to pass the Iong miIes to my Iaboratory in Spider Canyon.
对了，我会在帕莫多利 By the way, I'II be
与葛兰特总统碰面 seeing President Grant soon at Promontory Point.
要不要我替你们问候他？ What shaII I teII him for you?
恐怕不行，到时你们... I'm afraid it can't be that you're aIive...
已经挂了 ...and weII!
工具包呢？快把这东西弄掉 Get out your tooIkit. Get this thing off my neck.
工具包被拿走了 My tooIs are gone.
欢迎光临政治犯实验集中营 ''WeIcome to LoveIess ExperimentaI Camp for PoIiticaI Dissidents.
不设警卫，没有高压电线 There are no guards, no barbed wires.
只要在安全范围内就能活命 Stay within the perimeter, you'II stay aIive.''
我没空听这些屁话 I don't have time for this.
看到没？没事 See? Nothing.
不快跑就没命了 And now we have to run.
铁圈好像有某种磁力 The coIIars on our necks seem to contain powerfuI magnets!
只要我们跑得过刀片就没事 As Iong as we can outrun the bIade, we'II be fine!
磁力要多久才会消失？ How Iong does it take a magnet to Iose its power?
大概四百年 -About 400 years!
完了 -Damn!
溪谷，溪谷！ The guIIy! The guIIy!
快往溪谷跑 Run for the guIIy!
快！高登，快！ Go, Gordon! Go!
跳过来 Leap into my arms!
快点 Now!
上帝保佑你 BIess you.
对不起 Sorry.
莉妲，亲爱的 Rita, my dear.
你回到我身边我很高兴 Not that I'm ungratefuI to Providence for bringing you back, but I confess...
不过我有点想不通 ...I'm a bit curious as to
你怎么会跟他们混在一起 how you managed to wind up with them.
他们要找到你不是难事 They seemed so sure they couId find you,
我想要是我跟着他们 I thought if I stayed with them...
他们会送我到我要去的地方 ...they'II bring me back to aII my friends.
我不想让你太得意 Not to give you a big head,
不过我有点想念你 but I kind of missed you.
真巧，我也挺想念我的下半身 WeII, isn't that a coincidence? Because I kind of miss me too.
你有什么计划把这东西弄下来 What's your pIan for getting this thing off my neck?
什么？ Excuse me?
你该想想办法 That's what you're here for.
你是机械大师 You're the master of this mechanicaI stuff.
原来如此 这下子我成了机械大师 Oh, I see. Now I'm the master of this mechanicaI stuff.
五分钟前，我努力地... As opposed to five minutes ago, when I was trying...
想办法解决这个问题 ...to find an inteIIigent soIution to this very probIem.
可是突然出现个冒失的大笨蛋 Then something happened. Someone, who'II remain nameIess...
吉姆... Jim!
卫斯特 West!
居然一脚跨过线圈 ...decided to jump over the wire...
害我们在玉米田里拔腿狂奔 ...providing us with that romp through the cornfieId...
最后跳进一堆烂泥里 现在我们眼睁睁看着那疯子 ...and that death-defying Ieap into the abysmaI muck! And here we stand, whiIe that demented maniac...
搭着我们的火车去追杀总统 ...hurtIes toward our President on our onIy mode of transportation...
配备只有天知道的强大武器 ...armed with God knows what machinery of mass destruction...
企图推翻政府，统治国家 ...with the intention of taking over the country!
我觉得你先冷静下来 -I think you need to caIm down.
我无法冷静 -I can't be caIm!
不行，我是机械大师 I'm the master of the mechanicaI stuff!
我必须帮你...你... And I have to heIp you! You!
你这个蠢蛋大师 The master of the stupid stuff!
要弄下来吗？我来帮你 Wanna get your coIIar off? I'II get it off!
我是没有枪，不然一枪打烂它 I don't have a gun. Otherwise, I'd shoot it off!
这是卫斯特的典型作风 Here's something in the true Jim West styIe!
我用石头砸烂它 I'II bash it with a rock!
别乱来 You don't wanna do that.
我偏要 But I do!
你干嘛？ -What did you do?
我没干嘛 -I didn't do shit!
你把磁铁正负极反过来了 You've reversed the poIarity of your magnet.
我才没有 I did not do shit!
别动，别动 Be stiII! Be stiII!
我用脚顶住你胸口，用力推 I'II put my foot in your chest. Push off.
你还好吧？ You aII right?
好得很，替我把靴子脱掉 I'm just peachy. Can you heIp me get my boot off?
抱歉 Sorry!
那是我的皮带扣 And that wouId be my beIt buckIe.
以后你向孙子说故事时 When you teII this story to your grandkids, Ieave this part out.
放心啦 Don't worry.
我替你解开皮带 I'II undo your beIt. I'II run that way, you run the other way.
让我先搞清楚，你往那边跑 Let me understand your pIan. You'II run fast that way
我往这边跑 and I'II run that way.
很天才 -It's ingenious.
随便你啦 -Whatever, Gordon.
一... One,
二... two,
三... three!
你看 Oh, Iook.
我的备用工具包 My auxiIiary tooIkit.
我竟忘了，一定是掉出来了 I forgot about it. It must've sIipped out of my pocket.
掉出来？ Your pocket?
为何不把它装在什么机器上 Why wasn't it on some contraption
把你屁股打的开花 that shoots out your ass?
那是乐福里斯的最爱 That's the first pIace LoveIess wouId've Iooked.
怎么了？ What?
没事 Nothing.
不用了，谢谢，我不饿 No, thank you. I'm fine.
这地方真不适合我 Not quite myseIf out here.
你手上有只大蜘蛛 There's a very Iarge spider on your hand.
他只是想取暖 He's just trying to get warm.
你怎么对沙漠那么熟？ How is it you know so much about the desert?
我从小住在这里 I Iived out here as a boy.
印第安人把我养大的 I was raised by the Indians.
是吗？那是... ReaIIy? Now, that is--
注意看 Look, a desert wasp... ...one of the worId's greatest hunters.
沙漠黄蜂，最厉害的狩猎者 它把蜘蛛杀了，在它体内下蛋 She'II kiII the spider, Iay her eggs inside... ...so her babies wiII have food when they hatch.
这下子我真的饿了 Now I'm reaIIy hungry.
你的父母应该是黑人 How did your parents, who I assume were Negro...
为什么让你由印地安人养大 ...feeI about you being raised by Indians?
他们对这事无能为力 They didn't have much to say about it.
我从小就被送到南方农场 I was sent to another pIantation when I was a boy.
等我长得够大，我就逃走了 Ran away as soon as my Iegs were strong enough to take me.
你有再见到家人吗？ Did you ever see your famiIy again?
他们在新自由港被屠杀了 They were at the camp at New Liberty.
我会帮你逮到他的，吉姆 I'II heIp you get him, Jim.
你到底知不知道我们要去哪里 You reaIIy have no idea where we're going, do you?
我当然知道我们要去哪里 I know exactIy where we're going.
我们要去蜘蛛谷 Going to Spider Canyon.
要是你不带着那笨磁铁 We'd get there a Iot faster
我们很快就会到了 if you weren't dragging that thing around.
许多伟大科学发明就因为有它 A Iot of scientific ingenuity and hard work went into this.
把它丢掉会让我良心不安 It'd be a shame to just discard it.
你不了解强力磁铁有多好用 You never know when a high-powered magnet might come in handy.
高登，又让你给矇到了 When you're right, you're right.
乐福里斯的私人轨道 LoveIess' private track.
这是我们的火车，那这里是... This is not a mirage. If this isn't a mirage, then that--
蜘蛛谷，接下来呢？计划先生 Is Spider Canyon. What now, Mr. PIan Man?
我们的优势是什么？ What do we have?
智慧、决心，加上奇袭战术 InteIIigence, a sense of purpose, the eIement of surprise.
乐福里斯有些什么？ What does LoveIess have?
他有一整座城市 He has his own city.
还有只八十尺长的机器蜘蛛 He has an 80-foot tarantuIa.
对啊，我才刚想说这句话 Yes, weII, I was coming to that.
总算看到新发明派上用场 Nice to see an invention that actuaIIy works.
真有一套 Most impressive.
可惜行动有点笨拙 If a IittIe ungainIy.
它被困住了 He's trapped.
那玩意儿遇到石头就没辄了 That thing wiII never get past those rocks.
高登，我们走吧 Gordon, Iet's go!
高登，上来 Gordon, Iet's ride!
你会骑吧？ You do know how to ride?
会，我知道怎么骑 -Yes, I know how to ride.
我是说骑马 -A horse.
要是情况紧急的话就可以 现在如何？大蜘蛛要攻击总统 Yes, when something primitive is caIIed for.How about now? A giant spider's stomping toward our President.
我想的是另一种蜘蛛 I was just thinking of another spider.
记不记得那只沙漠黄蜂 Remember when that IittIe wasp
它如何杀死蜘蛛的？ destroyed the tarantuIa?
黄蜂的优势是，它会飞 The wasp had an advantage. It couId fIy.
没错 ExactIy.
设计出飞行机器，但尚未完成 In 1 540, Leonardo da Vinci designed a fIying machine, but never finished it.
只要发挥创意，我可以... With some extrapoIation and a bit of imagination, I've--
没时间了，别再想什么发明了 We don't have time for any of your pIans or haIf-baked inventions.
我们只能尽力而为了 We gotta stick to what we each do best.
上帝让我们的国家统一团结 ''May God continue the unity of our country...
如同这条铁轨打通世界两大洋 ...as this raiIroad unites the two great oceans of this worId.''
天啊 Good Lord!
这不是太巧合了吗？ WeII, now, isn't this a coincidence?
我早上起来出门兜兜风 I'm out for a IittIe morning ride...
竟然在这里碰到葛兰特将军 ...and in the middIe of nowhere... ...I bump into GeneraI UIysses S. Grant himseIf.
我们从未正式彼此介绍 We've never been properIy introduced.
我是乐福里斯博士 I'm Dr. ArIiss LoveIess...
之前属于南方联邦军 ...formerIy of the Confederate Army.
乐福里斯博士 Yes, Dr. LoveIess.
你这只蜘蛛真是好看 It's a fine-Iooking spider you have there.
请问有何指教？ What can I do for you today?
寒舍就在附近，请接受我的邀请 I have a humbIe abode nearby. I hope you'II accept my hospitaIity.I have a proposition to make.
什么请求？ What proposition is that?
立刻下令政府军队无条件... The immediate and unconditionaI surrender of the United States...
向乐福里斯联军投降 ...to the LoveIess AIIiance!
我们现在并未宣战 I didn't reaIize we were at war.
这种要求恕难同意 You have me at somewhat of a disadvantage.
而且我今天没带苍蝇拍来 I didn't bring my fIy swatter.
这样子算宣战吗？ How about now?
要不要宣战，决定的是我 In matters pertaining to war, the person to taIk to wouId be me.
你又是谁？ And now just who are you?
我是美国总统 I am the President of the United States.
这人是个演员 This man is an actor
专门在公开场合扮演我的分身 hired to stand in for me on pubIic occasions.
显然他演技不怎么样 Not a good actor at that.
太胖了，傻呼呼的 He's too fat and duII-witted.
你胆子很大，卫斯特呢？ You got a Iot of brass, Gordon. Where's West?
他安啦，长官 You know him, sir.
叫这个人走吧 Take this man away!
上尉 Captain!
中尉 Lieutenant!
中士 Sergeant!
士兵 Private!
解散，走吧 You are dismissed, sir! Leave!
两个都带走 We'II take them both!
高登，这在你计划中吗？ Was this part of your pIan, Gordon?
至少我还在你身旁陪着你 WeII, I'm by your side, sir. That's what counts.
乐福里斯博士的妈妈有封电报 I got a teIegram for a Dr. LoveIess
要我转交给他 from his mother, Irene.
她说，请速回，别干傻事 She said, ''Come home. Stop aII this fooIishness.''
大家好 Bonjour...
大家午安，美好的一天 ...buenas tardes, and good day!
今天是重要的日子 Great, gIorious day!
过去所犯的错即将获得弥补 A day of heaIing for the wrongs that have been done to us aII.
我们等得太久了 How Iong have we waited?
等到1776年，对吧？ 1 7 7 6, wasn't it, oId bean?
波士顿茶叶是世上最昂贵的 The most expensive cup of tea in history.
曼哈顿却几十块钱就被卖掉了 Manhattan, for a handfuI of beads.
怎么回事？ How.
还有惨烈的艾拉摩战役 ''Remember the AIamo,'' indeed.
谢了，阿特摩斯 Thanks, Artie.
今天，我很荣幸地向各位宣布 所有的错误将会弥补 Today, I'm proud to be abIe to sit before y'aII... ...and teII you that the wrongs wiII be righted...
过去的历史将重回现实 ...the past made present...
美利坚“分”众国 ...the united, divided!
大英帝国可拿回东部十三州 Great Britain gets back the 1 3 originaI coIonies,
除了曼哈顿 minus Manhattan.
佛罗里达和青春泉回归西班牙 FIorida and the Fountain of Youth go back to Spain.
德州、新墨西哥州、加州... Texas, New Mexico, CaIifornia, Arizona...
重回墨西哥 ...revolve a Mexico.
剩下的地区就留给我养老吧 And a IittIe piece for me to retire on.
各国的朋友要我尽快签署文件 My partner nations insist that we make this as IegaI as possibIe.
不过我个人喜欢让总统先投降 PersonaIIy, I Iike the symmetry of it.
当初是... After aII...
总统先生 ...wasn't it you, President Grant,
阁下你逼我在投降书上签字的 that made us sign a surrender at Appomattox?
要我签，想都别想 Never wiII I sign that paper.
美利坚合众国永远不会投降 Never wiII the United States ever surrender!
显然我们意见不合，是吧？ We're at Ioggerheads, then, aren't we?
像你这种身经百战的人 I suppose the threat of death to someone with your vaIorous war record...
大概也不会把死放在眼里 ...wouId mean nothing.
要是你不在投降书上签名 If you stiII refuse to sign the surrender...
我就先把高登干掉 ...we'II start by shooting your man, Gordon.
别担心，我有穿金钟宝甲 Don't worry. I'm wearing an ImpermeabIe.
我有个最后要求 May I make one request?
请瞄准我的心脏 That she aim at my heart...
我全心全意热爱这个国家 ...my heart, which has Ioved this country so much.
瞄准他的头 Shoot him in the head.
臭了 Damn!
预备 Ready!
瞄准 Aim!
新马子 A new girI!
哇，太好了 WeII, what a nice surprise.
伊波娜，为何对我这么残忍 Ebonia, why are you so crueI to me?
胸罩快把我憋死了 This brassiere is kiIIing me.
谢了 Thank you.
吊袜带弄得我屁股都变型了 And this garter beIt is riding up my ass.
小心，别把衣服弄坏了 -Be carefuI with that dress.
去他的鬼衣服 -To heII with your damn dress.
我们马上带你闪人，总统先生 We'II have you out of here in a second, Mr. President.
再见了 Bye-bye!
她是我们的人？ 卫斯特上尉，长官 -Is she with us? -Captain West, sir.
真是优雅 Oh, he's so gracefuI!
杀了他 IiII him!
杀了他 Him!
在那里 Him! Him!
那个女人 The girI!
八号撞球吗？快趴下 Is that the eight baII? Get down.
那不是昏迷瓦斯 That wasn't sIeeping gas.
当然不是，八号球是燃烧弹 No, the eight baII's an incendiary bomb.
快救总统 The President!
快走 Let's go!
去救总统，我们没事 Save the President! We'II be fine!
他们要跑了，我们得找匹马来 They're getting away. We gotta do something! We gotta get horses!
现需要新的计划 Right now we need a pIan.
你那个飞行机器呢？ That fIying machine idea of yours....
你只是说说而已 还是你真的可以做出来 Were you acting Iike you knew what you were taIking about, or can you buiId it?
白努利生前的最后几年 BernouIIi was considered
穿得像只鸡，结果发疯而死 insane by his peers.
不过发展出一个理论 His theory states that the air over a bird's wing moves...
通过鸟翅膀上方的气流压力 ...at a Iower pressure than that beIow the wing.
会比翅膀下方的压力低 That's caIIed Iift.
这就是上升气流，我们试试看 And is what we wiII now attempt.
当然，这只是理论，还没试过 It's onIy a theory. It's never been tested.
我替你们带点小礼物来 Here's a IittIe bon voyage present for you guys.
火药、硝化甘油、起爆剂 Gunpowder, nitrogIycerine and .44 caIiber primers.
你怎么会懂爆破？ How the deviI do you know about expIosives?
我是美国特警 U.S. MarshaI CoIeman.
总统派我来以备不时之需 President wanted me to Iook after you.
不过我不敢飞，祝你们好运 But I draw the Iine at defying gravity, so good Iuck.
抓牢了 HoId on!
为什么飞不起来？ Avanti! Avanti!
上升气流不够 -Why isn't this avanti -ing? -Not enough Iift!
速度要加快一点 We need more speed!
那是悬崖 -That's a cIiff!
我知道 -Yes, I know!
我们会掉下去 -That means the ground is gonna end!
我知道 -I know!
成功了！成功了！ It works! It works!
你总算发明一件管用的机器 If you had to get one right, I'm sure gIad it was this one.
你给这新玩意儿取什么名字？ What kind of fancy name you got picked out for this thing?
让我想想，上升加强器 Wait, Iet me guess; an EIevation Enhancer...
或者叫抗地心引力载具 ...or a Gravity-RepeIIer VehicIe.
不，想个简单一点的 No, I was thinking of something simpIe.
就叫它 “飞人高登”好了 Air Gordon.
总统先生，我再说一次 Mr. President, I'II ask you once again;
签名投降，否则我把小镇炸了 Sign the surrender, or I wiII decimate this town!
我说过了，不签 You've had my answer.
我了解你的立场 I understand,
不过这应该会让你重新考虑 but I urge you to reconsider in Iight of the foIIowing...!
抓牢了，总统先生 Hang on, Mr. President!
跟我来 Here, here.
跟我来 Let's go!
让我印象深刻 GentIemen, I am truIy impressed by your effort and ingenuity.
你们何不向我宣誓效忠 Why not swear an oath of IoyaIty to me...
我会饶你们一命 ...and forego your execution?
我还想把你塞到大炮当炮灰 I thought I'd stuff your haIf-ass in one of these cannons...
然后拿去施肥 ...and fertiIize the Iandscape with you.
给你一条生路你不要 We may not have a woodshed on board...
看我怎么好好“照顾”你 ...but that boy is gonna get a whupping anyway!
怎么你也要来照顾我吗？ You're the one that's supposed to give me my whupping?
别得意，我也有 HeII, I got one of those.
高登只给我一把，等我一下 Gordon onIy gave me one. Give me a second and I'II--
臭了 Damn!
搞定了，什么双刀客嘛 That's it. No more Mr. Inife Guy.
中国佬教我的 I Iearned that from a Chinaman.
这一招我是无师自通 I just made that up.
帽子不错 Nice hat.
太夸张了吧 No!
抱歉 Sorry.
莉本芮德小姐，你来开 Miss Lippenreider, take over the controIs.
有人说要好好照顾我 Somebody promised me a whupping.
那小子是黑头发 Dark-haired feIIa.
留胡子，不高，有看到他吗？ Crazy beard. About your height. Seen him?
你知道吗？老兄 You know, LoveIess,
你打不过有正常双腿的 you just can't beat a good oId-fashioned pair of Iegs.
显然你不玩梭哈，卫斯特先生 WeII, you're obviousIy not a poker pIayer, Mr. West.
四条永远比一对大 Four of a kind aIways beats a pair.
你是不是有什么亲人... Now, was there someone particuIarIy cIose to you...
在新自由港被我杀害了 ...who perished in that miIitary action?
怎么？生气了？ WeII, that struck a nerve.
我喜欢把我的脚... I Iikes to beat my feet...
踩在一堆烂泥巴上 ...on the Mississippi mud!
住手 Stop it!
拜托，叫他住手 Stop him, pIease!
把枪放下 Drop it!
住手，不然我开枪了 Drive. Stop, or I'II shoot.
凭那东西想把我杀了 You expect to kiII me with that IittIe peashooter?
别怀疑 If I have to, yes.
奇怪，为什么我一点也不怕 Why is it that I am unafraid?
快开... Shoot... ...him...
高登 ...Gordon!
开枪 Shoot him!
怎么？你居然没打中 After aII that, you missed?
那可不 ActuaIIy, I didn't.
谢了 Thank you.
小心，有人要修理你 Your chivaIry's about to be tested.
等等 Wait!
乐福里斯博士，把我踩在脚下 WeII, Dr. LoveIess, I bet you thought it was pretty funny...
想必令你觉得很好玩 ...big metaI foot on my face and aII.
看来我们之中，有一个人... If you ask me, somebody around here...
必须向另一个人道歉 ...owes somebody eIse around here an apoIogy.
别耍宝了，这东西怎么操作 Quit dancing around and figure out how to run this damn thing!
我们麻烦大了 We got a reaI probIem there!
求求你，卫斯特先生 PIease, Mr. West!
求你饶了我 别紧张，乐福里斯博士 Show some mercy! Now don't you fret none, Dr. LoveIess.
我们已替你量身订作一间牢房 We got a IoveIy haIf-a-jaiI ceII picked out for you.
求求你，你是勇敢的黑武士 PIease, sir! You fine, dark warrior!
我试试看这个 Finding the right combination of Ievers--
别碰那个 Don't do that again.
我一直很尊敬你，卫斯特先生 I have aIways admired you, Mr. West.
希望你了解 I want you to understand that.
这么多年来 For four years
我一直在追查新自由港的凶手 I've chased the animaI responsibIe for the New Liberty massacre.
听说这畜生就是你 I hear that's you.
我不是畜生，我是先知 I am not an animaI! I am a visionary!
我是旷世奇才 I am a genius!
这下子我火了，我先杀了你 And now I am angry! And after I kiII you...
再把你拿来炸成齿轮油 ...I swear I'm gonna boiI you down for axIe grease!
这下子真是太好了 WeII, I'II be a monkey's uncIe!
我们两个怎么会搞得这么僵 How did we arrive in this dark situation?
不知道，这可把我考倒了 I have no idea. I'm as stumped as you are.
我正面对一个大难题 I'm facing a very difficuIt probIem here.
一方面我珍惜我宝贵的生命 On the one hand, I have an overwheIming Iove for myseIf...
可是我又对你恨之入骨 我只要动动开关就能杀了你 ...and on the other, the raw, seething hatred that I have for you. I couId kiII you very easiIy, Mr. West, just by puIIing on this Iever.
不过我愿意和你一起陪葬 But I wouId die aIong with you, hence my confIict.
我已经... Decisions...
决定了 ...decisions.
我决定我们要一起下地狱 AIIow me to make that decision for you.
卫斯特先生，你外表又黑又酷 Mr. West, aIthough you are as bIack as the night on the outside...
不过你心里... ...inside...
你是个十足的懦夫 ...you are yeIIow!
你根本没有这个胆 You just don't have it in you.
对吧？ Do you...
小子？ ...boy?
总算“照顾”他了 Now that's a whupping.
两位，我正筹设新的特勤单位 GentIemen, I'm creating a new agency...
主要负责保护总统安全 ...whose purpose is to protect the President.
欢迎加入情报局 WeIcome to the Secret Service.
天字第一号，天字第二号 Agents number one and number two.
谢谢你，总统先生 Thank you, Mr. President.
请问谁是一号？谁是二号？ Do you mind if I ask which one is agent number one and which is number two?
这个不重要吧，高登？ I don't think that matters. Do you? Not if you don't, sir.
反正你们出任务时再好好讨论 Anyway, you'II have pIenty of time to discuss it on your new assignment.
华盛顿见了，两位 See you in Washington, gentIemen.
总统先生，我们的火车呢 ？ Mr. President, what about our train?
当然是让我坐罗 I'm taking it, of course.
你们让那疯博士把我火车炸了 HeII, you Iet LoveIess bIow up mine.
我的大英雄 My heroes.
瞧瞧你 Look at you.
真是人间尤物 You're a vision.
你这身衣服真漂亮 That's a right fine dress you got on.
谢谢你们帮了我许多忙 I wanted to thank you for aII you've done for me
我要回德州去了 before I went back to Texas.
德州？什么意思？ Texas? What do you mean?
我还以为你会跟我一起去华府 Come to Washington with me.
或者选择跟我一起去华府 Or better yet, come back to Washington with me.
对不起，我没有对你们说实话 I'm afraid I haven't been compIeteIy honest with you.
艾丝柯巴教授不是我爸爸 Professor Escobar is not my father.
他是我老公 He's my husband.
其实你可以早说嘛 You couId've toId us that.
莉妲，亲爱的，我们该走了 Rita, dear, we reaIIy must be going.
至少你们现在是哥俩好 At Ieast you stiII have each other.
吉姆 Jim?
干嘛？ What now, Artie?
可以问个问题吗？ Do you mind if I ask you a question?
不行，少废话 ActuaIIy, I do, Artie.